By Jewel Tyler
(continued from Journal V)
I was awakened around 4:30 am, I was being informed that the surgery for the pacemaker was being delayed. After fully waking up I thought to myself “later is fine with me.” I had been informed what the procedure would be for my surgery and that I would not be put to sleep. Not being put to sleep had me very concerned. I am not a fan of pain, as I would guess no one is, I was told I would be administered a local anesthesia for the procedure. Everything was hitting me too fast, first the Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, having to fire Dr. Gupta and then my heart trying to stop, it was just too much. I became a bit overwhelmed and I was alone in my room and the tears started to fall. I had to pull myself together, and the only way I know how to do that is to talk to God. I began to pray and ask God to bless me with the spirit of peace beyond understanding and for his unspeakable joy at a time like this. I also, asked that he guide the doctor’s hands since he was going to be dealing with my heart of all organs in my body. I begin to feel myself relax. I got out of bed to wash my face and brush my teeth, and forgot my legs were not cooperating as they always had in the past. I quickly remembered I needed the walker by my bedside to assist me to the sink which was only a few steps away.
After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I laughed at myself in the mirror; my hair was a mess and everywhere. Isn’t strange how we women no matter how we are feeling become concerned about our appearance. I thought for goodness sake you are getting ready to go into surgery; your hair really doesn’t matter. By the time I returned to my bed and slid under the covers, a gentleman arrived in my room. Wished me a good morning and said I am here to take you to OR. I asked him to give me a minute; I called my son and left him a voicemail message to let him know I was on my way to surgery.
Once I arrived in the operating room and I was transferred to the bed for surgery, my whole body began to tremble, I was freezing, it was so cold and I believe I was also trembling because of fear. I quickly reminded myself, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.” I said my amen and the nurses arrived that were there to prep me for surgery. The anesthesiologist arrived and explained what he was going to be administering to me via my IV. Finally Dr. Nguyen, came in with his soft tone and comforting bedside manner to assure me everything was going to be fine and he would be done in no time. My face was covered with a blue paper cloth type sheet thingy and I was told to turn my head to the right. I was asked what type of music I liked I shared classical preferably Bach, and the nurse explained I was in luck they had some Bach. She turned on the music and within 10 minutes, it was lights out for me.
I awoke in recovery with a nurse talking to me. I was so dazed and drugged; I looked around the recovery room and saw other patients coming out of their comatose state as well. The nurse was busy checking my urine drainage bag. Then blood pressure, why does that thing squeeze your arm so tightly, and I guess what irritates me is they always seem to use the arm that the IV is in as well which causes even more pain. I was obviously in and out our consciousness, because I was still so very drugged. In spite of how drugged you are the nurses are constantly communicating and working on you. After everything checked out for me, I was once again on the move to my room. I remained in the same bed and finally I conceited to the drugs and off to sleepy land I went.
I was awakened by someone kissing me all over my face, when I finally was able to focus my eyesight tears filled my eyes, to my surprise it was my best friend from Los Angeles, Ca. I could not believe my eyes; she was here in the hospital room with me. I was like “What are you doing here?” She smiled and kissed me again, “Girl, I purchased my plane ticket right after I spoke with you last night, I was trying to get here last night but there weren’t any flights. There was no way I was not going to get where and my girl was having heart surgery, love you too much girl.” I was just so overwhelmed, this is my friend that is unemployed and ill herself but she made her way to Texas to be with me during this time of my illness. This was so very special to me because I was dealing with so much all at one time. God knew I needed her.
(to be continued).